Dear Northminster,

I am a big believer in the thought that a) you never know when the Holy Spirit is going to speak to you & b) you never know whose mouth the Holy Spirit will use to speak. This week the Holy Spirit spoke to this pastor (me) through the voice of internet creator Emile Ennis Jr. in his video about Uncertainty Aversion. Seriously, if you have the time, click this link and go watch his video. He is upbeat and explains uncertainty aversion in a very accessible/relatable way.
 In this video, he defines uncertainty aversion as, “the distress we feel when outcomes are unpredictable. When not knowing what outcome comes next creates more stress than the change itself. When we have the tendency to favor the known verses the unknown, including the known risks verses the unknown risks.” He goes on to state that, “I’m just exhausted by not knowing how everything is going to change, especially when the world already feels unstable.”
 Uncertainty aversion is not the fear of change. The fear of change says, “I like things how they are and I don’t want them to change.” Uncertainty aversion says, “I don’t know how things will change, so I’d rather them not change.” This may be the reason some folks stay at bad jobs or in bad relationships longer than they should. It is likely why it takes a long time for churches to change even small parts of their ministry. And I would hazard a guess that uncertainty aversion is also why it is hard to pass laws that would result in widespread change in our country. Everyone I know complains about the health insurance systems in the US, but switching to another model scares people because the results of that change and uncertain. We know that our judicial system unfairly targets and punishes people of color and other minorities, but many are scared of any alternative because we don’t know if it would still give us the feeling of protection.
 If you are feeling the weight of uncertainty aversion, you aren’t alone. As someone who admittedly loves things that are unique and novel, I am also tired and feeling myself retreat into the familiar and the known. If you are feeling this too, what do we do with this emotion? We let ourselves feel it and work through the emotion so we can move beyond it. Do this exercise with me:

• One hand on your chest, one on your belly, and close your eyes.
• Deep breath in 2, 3, 4, hold 2, 3, 4, exhale, 2, 3, 4 and hold 2, 3, 4.
  (this is called box breathing)
• Ask yourself, “Where in my body do I feel anxious or stressed? Where does that emotion live?” and allow yourself to feel the discomfort of that feeling for a minute or two.
• Ask yourself, “What uncertainty am I worried or anxious about? Why does this uncertainty make me feel worries or anxious? What am I afraid will happen?” and allow yourself to ponder for another minute or two.
• Another deep breath in (through your nose) 2, 3, 4, hold 2, 3, 4, audibly exhale (through your mouth), 2, 3, 4 and hold 2, 3, 4. Do this again.

This practice will not necessarily make your uncertainty aversion go away, but it will help you notice when it arises. And when we can notice and name emotions when they appear, we can better deal with them rather than be controlled by them.

Blessings, 
Pastor Chris

“It’s not FAIR!” is the chorus from children around the world at a certain age… and sometimes... I still say that to myself today. I am old enough now to know that the world does not run on fairness, however much we wish it would. Some people are born with a leg-up in the world because their families had bountiful resources and connections. Other people get a lucky break at some point and luck is not fair either. And still other times the system is as fair as it can be… and yet… it still doesn’t FEEL fair.
  
More often than not these days, when my brain is screaming at me, “THIS ISN’T FAIR!” it is because someone twice my age is throwing a tantrum or hissy fit. In these moments, the angel on my shoulder reminders me that, “You are never not a 5-year-old. Every person has the capability to throw a temper tantrum… especially on their bad days.” But in the next breath, the devil on my other shoulder responds, “But it is not fair! Why do I have to be the emotionally mature person to calm down the person throwing a hissy fit? This person is twice my age! Haven’t they learned how to regulate their emotions yet? For once, I would like to be the one who is allowed to throw the temper tantrum!” To that, the angel chimes in again: “I know it would probably feel good in the moment to throw a fit, and yell, and scream, and carry on… and I know it isn’t fair that you have to be the adult in the room… but this situation will get a whole lot worse and have a dramatically worse outcome if you indulge that impulse. For now, you need to de-escalate the situation and save your personal hissy fit for when you are at home by yourself.”

The idea that I bring to you all today is de-escalation: “De-escalation refers to the methods and actions taken to decrease the severity of a conflict, whether of physical, verbal or another nature," wikipeadia. De-escalation is a conflict resolution tool used to calm a room or situation so that clearing minds can prevail. It can, at first, look like weakness and vulnerability because de-escalation often requires someone to back down to some degree. It requires humility and admitting that you may have made an error or misunderstood the other party. The hope is that by one person backing off the situation, the other person will feel safe to do the same. This often takes training to get good at this skill. Trained mediators are often used to de-escalate contentious situations so that both parties feel safe to walk back the tension.

But when we are out and about in the world, who is responsible for de-escalation?

As we are about in the world, skilled moderators are not usually nearby when something happens and de-escalation is needed. If a customer is yelling at an employee, the employee is often expected to de-escalate the situation. If that isn’t working, a store manager is often called in as a mediator. Other times still, a kind fellow customer might step in to try and de-escalate the situation. Government officers are also supposed to de-escalate tense situations. I think this why people’s perception of the police can differ: some people feel that the police de-escalate the situation while others feel that the presence of police is itself an escalation of the situation.

As I pay attention to current events, one of my fears is whose responsibility is it to de-escalate tense, sometimes violent situations that keep cropping up? Generally speaking, I don’t feel it is the general public’s responsibility to de-escalate because most people have not been given training on how to do so. Therefore, the general public can be expected to make impulsive decisions based on fear, anger, or other overwhelming emotions. Without training, people are prone to panic and make irrational decisions based on primal fight or flight responses. While they are still responsible for their actions, de-escalation should not primarily be their responsibility.

The person that I do believe has the responsibility to de-escalate any given situation is government employee that has been given a weapon with the capacity to injure or kill. Because the presence of a weapon inherently escalates the feeling of tension, fear, and potential violence, the one bearing the weapon has the inherent responsibility to lower the fear and tension in a situation. It is not fun having to be the adult in the room that is responsible for managing another person's emotional state. But when someone has the power to take life, it is essential that that person is able to regulate their own emotions in the moment and then help the other person regulate theirs.

Because those with institutional power and government sanctioned weapons are escalating situations across the United States in various towns and cities rather than de-escalating them, it is unsurprising to me that the public and protestors are responding by escalating the situation further in order to protect what they care about.

Jesus tells us that “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Matthew 5:9. That means that our faith calls us to make for peace and de-escalate situations when it is in our power to do so. It isn’t as fun as throwing a fit, but it is our calling. Yet we must also understand why others are not choosing this route in the face of state-sanctioned violence. If the state does not also agree to de-escalate and instead used more violence against the people, we must do what we can to protect all of God’s beloved children.

Blessings, 
Pastor Chris

Dear Northminster,

Last Saturday, our Elders and Deacons met for leadership training. As a part of our yearly training, we studied the Book of Order, part 2 of the PCUSA Constitution. Each year we take a look at a different part of our constitution. The idea is that over the years, our leaders gain a fuller understanding of the principles that guide our denomination. At the request of a few leaders last year, this year we looked at the Book of Discipline, the fourth section of the Book of Order. Since not many people willing read the Book of Discipline for fun, I thought I'd share some of its core principles. 

1) The Book of Discipline is not a replacement for secular law. 
One issue that has arisen in recent decades is how churches and denominations have handled allegations of abuse or malpractice within the congregation or church structure. Often, leaders have argued that their system has handled the situation and it's punishment and therefore, the secular State does not need to get involved. We have seen this as a tactic to shelter abusers and preserve public image. 

The PCUSA condemns this practice. If something illegal has taken place, pastors, Elders, Deacons, Staff, and Volunteers working with children are mandated reporters. Our system of discipline runs alongside the secular system. 

2) The cornerstones to our discipline process are the ideas of reconciliation, justice, truth, repentance, and rehabilitation. 
The judicial system in the United States largely focuses on punitive punishment. When a wrong has been committed, there is a fine to be paid, service to be completed, or time to be served behind bars. The assumption is that if a crime has a big enough punishment, it will deter people from committing it. Moreover, it  is believed that there is an exacting price to be paid for every wrongdoing. 

The PCUSA's system is not about punishment but repairing what has been broken. It asks:
- How do we restore relationships? 
- What would be healing for a community torn in two? 
- If someone is struggling, how do we help them? 
- If someone needs to be removed from a community, what would they have to do or change to be restored to that community again? 
- How do we balance justice and forgiveness? 
While I agree that the system of discipline in the PCUSA and the United States should remain separate and distinct systems whose aims and goals are distinct, I also believe that our society would be in a better place today if our national conversation implemented more principals of the PCUSA's Book of Discipline.  

When considering actions of our government, I often ask myself, "Is this repairing what has been broken, is this punishing perceived wrong-doers, or is this causing still more harm?" 

Like many of you, I am horrified by the news these days. In particular, I am horrified by unarmed civilians being killed by persons employed by our national government. Rhetoric and political commentary has been flying around the internet and news as people take stands on this latest political hot-button issue. And as I see this, I return to the principals that undergird our polity's way of resolving conflicts: does this bring about reconciliation and restoration?
- Does rounding up undocumented civilians who have only committed civil infractions promote the reconciliation of the world?
- Does shooting and killing unarmed civilians promote the reconciliation of the world?
- Does mocking her or her family promote the reconciliation of the world?

Most people I know, whether we agree politically or not, agree that our nation needs healing and reconciliation. The difficulty of the reconciliation process is that it requires accountability but also to give up a desire to punish (in a punitive sense) the other side. 

Jesus came to reconcile the world... and as he was being nailed to the cross of his execution, he said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34). 
 
Blessings,
Pastor Chris

Dear Northminster,

​Happy New Year! I hope you all have had a lovely holiday season and that this new year has gotten off to a good start. That said, I also know that this year has a lot in store for us at Northminster (as well as for me personally). So let us take a brief look at what is happening in the short and long term in 2026 at Northminster. 

This Week: 

• January 8 - First Session Meeting of the year. 
• January 10  - Leadership Training for Elders, Deacons, and Committee Members
  • This Saturday, the leaders of the congregation are gathering for our annual Leaders Training. We will meet in the Lounge at 10 a.m. Breakfast and lunch will be provided
  • The morning session is specifically for Elders and Deacons where they will be doing group building activities, reviewing the Book of Order, and setting goals for the year. 
  • The afternoon session is open to everyone in the congregation who would like to be involved with our 2026 brainstorming and planning session where we will begin to tackle how to implement our new Mission Focus. 
• January 11 at 11 a.m. - Installation of our 2026 Elders and Deacon
• January 11 after worship - Sharing Dinners Planning Meeting.
  • Because of the leadership training on January 10th, the January Sharing Dinners event has been postponed until January 16th or 17th. 

Next Week:

• January 12 at 7 p.m. - Stitch n Bitch
• January 15 at 7 p.m. - First Deacons Meeting of the year
• January 16 or 17 - Sharing Dinners. 

Week of Jan 19:

• January 19 - Martin Luther King Jr Day
• January 20 at 12:30 p.m. - Men's Lunch 
• January 22 at 7 p.m. on Zoom - first All Committee Meeting of the year

Week of Jan 26:

• January 26 - Women's Lunch

Later this year:

• February 18 - Ash Wednesday
• February 22 after worship - Annual Meeting 
• Mid-March through June/July - Pastor Chris on Maternity Leave. 
  • While I would love to provide a more definite timeline, babies do not understand calendars or planning. At this point in time, it is best for us to be prepared for my leave to begin anywhere from March 8th on the early end to March 22nd on the later end. 
• March 29 - Palm Sunday
• April 5 - Easter Sunday. 

As you can see, there is a lot happening at the beginning of 2026. On top of these planned events, the Operations Committee and Personnel Team are hard at work in the search for a new office assistant. We have received over 70 applications for the job. The team is spending the rest of this week reviewing applications and we hope to begin interviews next week. In the meantime, I will be covering some of the office duties (including assembling this email). So I ask for your grace if you spot errors or mistakes in the Notes in the weeks to come. 

Happy New Year everyone! There is work to be done and Jesus is asking us to step out in faith. Let us trust that the Spirit will guide us throughout our work this year! 


Blessings,
Pastor Chris