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Dear Northminster,
We could just feed people if we wanted to. We could just give all people medical care if we wanted to. We could just house people if we wanted to. We could just give people free childcare, preK, high quality k-12, and free college if we wanted to. Since we, unlike the ancient Judeans, control the system of governance that we live under, we could choose to do the things that Jesus did in his ministry. That was the main point of the sermon. I have preached some version of this sermon quite a few times over the years at this point. Jesus told us to feed people and we have the power and abundance to do so today if we chose to. We are simply choosing not to. What fascinates me about this is a comment I will often get back is someone talking about feeding more people by eliminating the fraud that happens in government assistance programs. The thought is that we could feed more people if only the undeserving free loaders were kicked off assistance programs. Let me be very clear about my person beliefs on the matter: I don’t give a mouse’s behind about individual fraud with government assistant programs. Does someone get benefits when they don’t quite meet the work requirements? I don’t care. Is someone on disability when they could technically work a low-paying, demining job? I don’t care. Truly I don’t, not one lick. Do I care about fraud? Yes… in a way. I care about a lie that we were sold decades ago. The American people were once told to trust those who were at the top of the business world. If we trusts CEO’s a business owners, if we cut red tape and allowed businesses more freedom, that the wealth they acquired in the process would trickle down throughout our society and bring prosperity to everyone. After four decades of this type of thinking what we have discovered is that wealth did not trickle down. Wages stagnated, CEO pay has ballooned, and when companies have record profits, it goes to shareholders and stock buybacks rather than worker pay. While today an abundance of billionaires, the minimum wage has not increased for my entire working life. If there is fraud, it is by corporations that lobby to maintain the same minimum wage and promote government benefits for the worker they employ so that they can continue raking in record profits. We can choose a different system. Instead of choosing to value CEO pay and shareholder value, we could instead create a system where everyone has enough to buy food, receive medical care, and be housed. Personally, I am a huge advocate for universal basic income and universal healthcare. Universal Basic Income is great for reducing fraud because it replaces government assistance programs with something that is available to all. Piolet programs around the world have proved it is more effective and cheaper than assistance programs and unemployment insurance. Similarly, you cannot defraud Medicaid or disability benefits if healthcare is available for everyone equally. What I return to again and again is the reality that the Gospel, the Good News of Jesus Christ, is bad for business. Jesus has scathing words throughout his ministry for people who hoard wealth and resources. Moreover, he constantly feeds, heals, and teaches the people who were deemed unworthy of assistance. This is bad business but good news. Why then do we valorize those who hoard wealth today and disparage those who need assistance? We can choose to do otherwise. We can feed not thousands but millions if we only choose to do so. Blessings, Pastor Chris
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Dear Northminster,
Do you remember when and why I began writing these letters to you all in the Tuesdays notes? When I first arrived at Northminster, writing a weekly letter to you all with my musings was not a part of my job. But then something unprecedented happened: a pandemic broke out and I needed to tell you all quickly that A.) Sunday service would not be held in-person but I would stream a video from the sanctuary online & B.) I would not be working in the office but remotely from my home. Week by week I needed to communicate to you what was going on in the world, what was changing and what was not. Every so often, we would have a quieter week of news, and I would share some theological musing. Then George Floyd was murdered and the country erupted in protests and discussion. I wrote another Tuesday letter to you all to help explain the context and language that was being used in that discussion. After that point, my weekly letter to you all has been a fixture of the Tuesday Notes until my leave began in March. In the time since I began writing these letters to you all we have continued to live in unprecedented times. Not only have I gotten added this letter to you all into the flow of my work week, I have also gotten used to reading the news, figuring out my sentiment, and then synthesizing my thoughts and feelings into a message that I hope helps you as you all read about what is happening in the world. Before I began writing this very letter, I opened a tab and opened some news sites to see what was going on and if there was any topic or headline that I might have a beneficial reflection on. Here is what I saw
It seems like after 6+ years of ministry, we still are living in unprecedented times. … or at least so it feels to me. But what struck me today was another post that pointed out that these “unprecedented times” have lasted now for over 10 years. While I still remember a time when politics was not a polarizing circus, when the wildfire smoke didn’t regularly blanket part of our country, when news of an outbreak in a new illness didn’t cause mass panic. But there are 28 year-olds who have only ever existed in an adult world where things were “unprecedented.” For them, this is the way politics and the environment have always been. Being unprecedented is their precedent. One reason humanity has survived and thrived for so long and in so many diverse environments is our capacity to adapt and adjust to a new normal. In so many ways, this is a wonderful trait to have. But I have to admit, I am slightly discouraged at how well we have collectively adapted to our “unprecedented” world. For the four months I was on leave, it was a delightful break to ignore the news, to not have to reflect up it, and to not have to write about it regularly. Now that I have returned to my weekly reflections, it is odd to see in stark relief how the unprecedented truly remains our precedent. I don't have a tidy ending this week. No calls to action. No silver lining. No advice on how to respond. Simply an acknowledgement of the state of the world. This week, we just observe how much has changed in ten years time. Blessings, Pastor Chris “I don’t know what to do, Chris.”
“Okay. Then I am going to make a decision, and you are going to decide how we do it.” This was the conversation that Logan and I had this weekend about attending a joint family birthday party in Marshall for Logan and his twin siblings. I continued, “I want to go. Now, it is your job to figure out how to get us there in a way that makes you feel like we are safe.” As you all remember, last Thursday’s air quality in Metro Detroit was the worst recorded air quality anywhere in the world that day. Since the smoke has given me migraines in the past, I worked from home where we have air purifiers that we bought the last time we dealt with wildfire smoke. These air purifiers have an app where we can keep track of our indoor air quality and turn the fans up and down. When we checked the app, we saw that the two air purifiers were struggling to keep the air clean. So Logan went to the store to buy a stronger furnace filter and two more air purifiers (desktop size this time) to help out the larger air purifiers. At the same time, we were working out how to drive the two hours to Marshall the following day while keeping the air in the car relatively clean. Logan’s solution, replace the cabin air filter in my car with a strong one, purchase a plug-in power converter, and run one of the desktop air purifiers in the backseat of the car next to the car seat. Logan was partially anxious because he knows that wildfire smoke gives me migraines. But he was more anxious about little Ronan’s lungs and how this air pollution would affect his developing airways. As we were setting the house and the car up, I got a notice that Northminster lost its power. Teresa and I had already decided to close the Northminster office due to health reasons regarding the smoke and work from home, but the Discover Corner was still in session. I mentioned this to Logan and his response took me a back a moment: “I feel like I should go back to the store and buy some air purifiers and donate them to the Discover Corner for the kids.” I had to pause for a moment. It is normal to want to protect your child from all the bad and evils of this worth to the best of your ability. Yet, in that moment, I saw Logan’s fiercely protective side extend to a day care full of children he had never met. I asked him about it and he responded, “Yes, I’m worried about them too! They are delicate just like Ronan is.” In John 15:13, Jesus states that, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Laying down your life in order to save someone else’s has always felt so dramatic. It feels like something so obvious in the moment that you would not miss that opportunity. But it is also a rare situation in this day in age. Logan’s comment now has me thinking, "Greater love has no one than this: to love so expansively that it loves all of the children in the world like my own child." What would it look like if I was as loving and protective of other children in my community and in the world as I am with my own? What policies would I support? What policies would I condemn? Unicef USA reports here that, “Since the end of the ceasefire on March 18, 1,309 children have reportedly been killed and 3,738 injured in Gaza. In total, more than 50,000 children have been reported dead or injured since October 2023.” The ones left alive are breathing in the dust of demolished buildings, sweating in the heat of summer without air conditioning, and crying because they are hungry because there isn’t enough food to go around. It is estimated that 1/3 of the casualties of Israel’s assault on Gaza has been children, children that are no more to blame than my own son. It is because of numbers like these that the PCUSA’s 227th General Assembly declared Israel’s war in Gaza a genocide. (read more here) I have come to understand that there is nothing quite like the worry of a parent towards their infant child. You are tasked with caring for a tiny human that cannot defend itself, let alone move by itself. Every decision can feel monumental, even when they are small. How would our world change if we decided to be vulnerable and open ourselves up to caring about all people and all children across the world with the same level of care? “Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” – Matthew 19:14 Blessings, Pastor Chris Once upon a time in college, I would have called myself an opportunistic vegetarian. What I mean is that I chose to eat vegetarian when I had the choice to do so. However, I would rarely tell other people because I didn’t want others to fuss over me. If someone made me food or I was over at their house, I would eat what was presented to me. (Due to my issues digesting soy based products, I have since resumed being an omnivore). I chose to do this because I knew that my choices would affect other people and many folks had a sense of panic about what they could or couldn’t serve when I did let them know I didn’t eat meat.
Around that same time in college, I came across Paul’s discussion about food in 1 Corinthians 10. In the chapter, Paul is giving guidance on what Christians in Corinth should do when eating at someone’s house. Of major concern was the fact that the main way that someone would procure meat is by bringing a sacrifice to the (Greek) temple and have it sacrificed by the Priests to the local deity. Here is a summary of Paul’s guidelines: Don’t make a big deal about it. Those God’s aren’t real, so it isn’t a sin to eat the meat. If it is a sin, don’t worry, Jesus has forgiven your sins. If the host tells you it was from the temple, don’t eat it. They know that this might offend you, so don’t make them feel bad for serving you pagan meat. Don’t cause other people to stumble because of an optional choice that you are making. At the time I first read this, I thought, “THANKS PAUL! THIS IS MY OPINION EXACTLY!” However, Paul begins his advice with the verses above and points out that even though we can do as we please, not everything that we can do is good, beneficial, or constructive. Rather than fixate on what we have the freedom to do, we should be more concerned with what benefits the good of others. As I scan the news today, I am remembering again the difference between what we have the ability to do and what actions benefit the good of everyone. Yes, immigration officers have been given firearms, but it is not for the good of others when they kill yet another human being. Yes, our country has the power to blockade a part of the ocean, but it is not for the good of all, especially folks in this country, to pay the higher prices that result from the blockade. Yes, we can allow for the rapid development and proliferation of AI tools, but it is not good to allow tech giants to do so without regulation, guidelines, and the development of good ethics. We can hoard our resources and preach hyper-independence, but it is not beneficial for our communities to have people wary of each other. As human beings, we are not required to look after the needs of others or consider what might be constructive for the community beyond our own wants. However, our faith teaches us otherwise. It is not enough to ask, “Is it legal?” Our tradition asks us to be our brother’s keeper. It asks us to go beyond what we must do to be seen as decent people. It challenges us to be community minded and put the needs of others above our own desires. It asks us to put care in front of vengeance and healing in front of retribution. It asks us to do what is good in the long-term, not just what feels good in the moment. Officers may find they have legal protection when they murder someone not convicted of a crime, but that does not make it good. Lest we forget that discrimination based on sex, segregation based on race, and the enslavement of other people were all legally allowed but none were good. Even the execution of Jesus was legal, but it is a cornerstone of our faith that his death was unjust. Blessings, Pastor Chris Dear Northminster,
In case you are not a Presbyterian Nerd, last week was a big week for the PCUSA. It was the 227th General Assembly in Milwaukee, WI. Delegates to GA met from June 22 to July 2, 2026 for a combination of committee work, worship, and large group discussion and voting. If you want to catch up on the ins and outs of this year’s GA, feel free to check out the General Assembly website: https://pcusa.org/about-pcusa/church-structure/general-assembly/general-assembly-gathering If you don’t want to pore through that webpage, here are some highlights: - General Assembly (GA) declares Israel’s war in Gaza a genocide. (article) - GA labels White Christian Nationalism and similar theologies a “Theological Error.” (article) + “The assembly […]declined to commemorate Presbyterians’ role in the American Revolution, citing concerns that such a celebration could elevate nationalism over the church’s gospel witness.” + While GA passed a denomination-wide policy statement concerning this matter and passed Book of Order changed RUS-01. This amendment will now be set to the presbyteries for ratification - GA approved three measures from the Gender and Sexuality Justice (GEN) Committee after lengthy debate. (Outlook Summary HERE) + GEN-02: “On Access to Healthcare” + GEN-06: “Addition of Question to Ministry Discernment Profile–From the Advocacy Committee for LGBTQIA Equity” + GEN-09: “Beyond Changing Families: Flourishing Relationships and Belonging” This last measure discusses Ethical Non-Monogamy. Likely the most controversial overture to be presented at GA, the GEN Committee referred this measure for further study. If you want to understand the case for ethical non-monogamy, The Presbyterian Outlook includes a great case study in their article HERE. *A quick side-note from me: there is no passage in our scriptures that is for or against the practice of monogamy. There are characters who were monogamous, and characters that were non-monogamous. Then we have Paul and Paul thought that everyone should be celibate like he was. Not many people listen to Paul on that matter. Other details about GA’s work will be included in a bulletin insert on July 19th. Amidst all of the decent and orderly discussion and debate at GA (do you know how to vote to amend and amendment to the motion?), there was another controversy that continues to rattle the PCUSA’s discussion boards. First, some terminology. GA has what are called YAADs (Young Adult Advisory Delegates). YAADs are high-school aged youth in the PCUSA who attend GA and experience the Presbyterian Church in action. This year, many YAADs were also a part of an organization called Presbyterian for the Kingdom (PftK). PftK are a conservative group that has formed from within the PCUSA who disagree with much of the PCUSA’s progressive leanings but do not wish to leave the PCUSA. Instead, they wish to engage with people to promote their theology and beliefs from within the PCUSA. PftK were broken into the nations Presbyterian discussion when some of their members made insensitive & inflammatory remarks from the floor of GA. Some of their remarks were denounced as racist and PftK issued an apology. Later, the PftK organization sponsored a lunch for all of the YAADs. However, many YAADs did not walk out of that lunch feeling good about how things transpired (read their reactions HERE). PftK members called for unity amidst differences, however their self-avowed beliefs alienated many YAAD’s due to their sexuality and gender. Online, pastors have struggled with how to engage members of PftK. Some see them as a conservative group looking to establish dialogue with a progressive denomination and build a foundation of unity. Others see this organization as using bad-faith calls to unity in order to call into question long-established sections of the PCUSA’s Book of Order. Many people have brought up the “inclusion paradox”: if you are inclusive of everyone, including people who wish to be discriminatory, then those who would be discriminated against are no longer welcome in the inclusive space. While calls for unity can sound promising on the surface, calls for unity can be a dangerous tool used by bad actors to shift the norms of a group back towards discriminatory practices. There is not an easy way to deal with this inflammatory group. To my mind, they are trying to pick a fight and using calls of unity as a cover for regressive theology. We see that they have already gained a foothold in the PCUSA’s national conversation. However, to ban or set limits on this group would give them the ability to claim discrimination and play the martyr. But most of all, the group seems to be largely high school youth, though their leadership is not. It is important that we do not bully or harass youth. Full Stop. Point Blank. Many commented that it sounded like the youth had been given a sort-of script to follow in certain situations with specific talking points. I have been a part of organizations that do this – so I have no doubt that this is a possibility. Nevertheless, the issue is with the organization and its leadership, not the youth delegates. At the end of the day, I am proud of our denomination for another good GA where amazing work was accomplished. I am proud to be a pastor in the PCUSA, even if we are a bit funny to work with from time to time. But I am also reminded that not every call to unity and reconciliation is a genuine call. “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.” Matthew 10:16 Blessings, Pastor Chris Dear Northminster Friend,
What does it feel like to feel rich? Of course, to feel rich, one's basic needs need to be met. Food on the table, shelter overhead, and clean water at ones fingertips. A sense of safety and security that pervades one's life. But having one's needs met is a far cry from feeling RICH. Another easy answer is money and wealth. Yes, this is the most simplistic understanding of being rich, but it is one that pervades most of our current culture. Some would describe the feeling as being able to order anything on the menu without being concerned with price. Others are more audacious and dream about buying anything, frivolous or seriously expensive, they want without the fear of going into debt. Still others cannot image being rich without being clothed in anything less than luxury fashion they sip rare wine at an exclusive country club looking out over a natural wonder. American richness always seems to be guided by what one has and by the accumulation of things. I remember in an Anthropology 101 class in college watching the 1970's documentary Ongka's Big Moka that documented a custom between various clans in Papua New Guinea who participated in a ritual gifting of pigs called a Moka. The "Big Man" would spend years breading and cultivating pigs to gift to other. Oddly, I recall that the tribes and clans did not eat pigs, but they were used as a type of currency in what was called a gift economy. In this world view, to be rich was to be able to give your riches away to others. Notably, this system of gifting is generally not seen as altruistic, but comes with social obligations and other customs. I have seen both of these types of aspirational wealth play out with people I know. On the one hand, I have seen friends strive for more and more because they never feel like they have acquired enough wealth or things to feel safe. Often, these friends knew instability and precarity early in their lives. Now that they are older, they still struggle to trust that what they have accumulated will be enough. On the other hand, I have also encountered other people who "humble brag" about how much they are able to give away. It is as if they make a show of how much they are able to gift to charities, organizations, and churches, without themselves being affected. My own sense of richness that I have personally cultivated is one that grows out a feeling of abundance. It is, "Hey neighbor, I made a huge pot of chili and I can't eat it all myself. Do you want some?" It is, "Here! Have a zucchini from the garden! Do you want some rosemary? I can give you a cutting!" It is, "I am already heading that way. Do you want me to pick something up for you?" It is, "I made a pot of tea. Come, sit with me and have some." It is, "I have extra space. If you need a space to be, come use it." Abundance is, "I have enough and more! And I want to share it with you." It isn't the same as a gift, but the spontaneous sharing often stemmed from the understanding that one has enough and more still to share. Last year, Oakland University had to shut down some of its buildings due to a water/heating issue. It was at the end of the year when students were having rehearsals, performances, and recitals to show off all of the work they had put in that semester. We were reached out to by the music department (through one of our members) asking if we had space for them. It was Advent Season, so I joked that of course we did! Especially in a season where we tell a story about there being no room in the inn, we could make room for them! For me, this is the abundance of community: we have space and space to share. So we hosted the Oakland University Music department for a variety of performances, recitals, and rehearsals. Here is the fun part of abundance: abundance shared is often abundance multiplied. Just today I got a card in the mail from the OU Music Department thanking us for hosting them. Included in that letter were 10 cards, each good for 2 tickets, to the Oakland Symphony Orchestra and Chorus's performance of Haydn's Mass in the Tie of War and Sergei Rachmaninoff's Symphonic Dances on Tuesday March 31st at 7:30 p.m. at Orchestra Hall, Detroit. I will be honest, I do not know the correct way to distribute the 20 free seats to this gala concert. I will not be able to go myself, but I wanted to share this abundance with you all, for you made room and shared the abundance of the Northminster building as well. If you are interested in attending, please contact the office and we will share with you the information. First come, first serve. Blessings, Pastor Chris Dear Northminster,
At the beginning of the year, one of our members the Session with a proposal to put notices at all of our entrances that we would not allow Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers into our building without a signed judicial warrant. This proposal was based on a reflection and advice given by Presbytery of Detroit Stated Clerk Melissa Allison which you can read here. In this letter, she askes:
I know that this is a hot-button issues at the moment, one where opinions are strong at opposing viewpoints are not likely to listen to the other side. I do not wish to start a political debate, but I do feel that it is our responsibility to take ownership over the safety of our community, specifically the communities that rely on our facility. Here is the reality that we as a congregation have to take into consideration:
The Session took the proposal to put signs on the doors seriously but also wanted to understand a fuller pictures of the dynamic of our area before putting signage at our entrances. They had many questions that I could not answer myself. Therefore, I reached out to Troy Police Officer Greg Pokley who has helped us in the past when we were being harassed by neighbors over our Pride flags. After explaining some of the dynamics I mentioned above, I asked him the following questions:
Officer Pokley recently got back with me with the following response: “This is great information to have. A lot of this is out of my purview but I will send this information to our City Attorney’s office and they should be able to give you and I a better understanding of the do’s and don’ts. Give me some time to get the information back from them. Regards, Greg” When I get a fuller response, I will forward it to the Session first for more discussion. Then we will let the congregation know how we are choosing to move forward. Blessings, Pastor Chris Dear Northminster,
This Sunday we are trying out something new: Learn How to Preach with Pastor Chris Hallam. I will be meeting with folks before worship at 9:30 am and after worship at 12:15 pm in my office to discuss how to write a sermon. I have broken down my personal sermon writing process into bite-sized chunks and spread them out over three workshop days. Click here to see the packet that we will be working through as a group. Everyone is invited regardless of your interest, or lack there of, in preaching this sermon after you have written it. This is workshop designed to help you learn the skill of how to tell your own stories of faith. Currently, there are not enough people signed up for the Wednesday morning Zoom offering to run that class. If you are interested in that time, please let Pastor Chris know ASAP! And if you are entirely uninterested in learning how to preach, let alone doing in, please consider donating an extra $200 this year. That is the cost of hiring Pulpit Supply for one Sunday. By donating a little extra, you are supporting Northminster’s Sunday service and you are giving me the peace of mind that Northminster will be in good hands while I am on my maternity leave. Thank you in advance! But with that folks, one more quick update for you all: We have offered the office assistant job to our top candidate and she has accepted! We are now in the final stages of contracts, background checks, and start dates. We are excited to introduce you all to her shortly! Blessings, Pastor Chris Dear Northminster,
I am a big believer in the thought that a) you never know when the Holy Spirit is going to speak to you & b) you never know whose mouth the Holy Spirit will use to speak. This week the Holy Spirit spoke to this pastor (me) through the voice of internet creator Emile Ennis Jr. in his video about Uncertainty Aversion. Seriously, if you have the time, click this link and go watch his video. He is upbeat and explains uncertainty aversion in a very accessible/relatable way. In this video, he defines uncertainty aversion as, “the distress we feel when outcomes are unpredictable. When not knowing what outcome comes next creates more stress than the change itself. When we have the tendency to favor the known verses the unknown, including the known risks verses the unknown risks.” He goes on to state that, “I’m just exhausted by not knowing how everything is going to change, especially when the world already feels unstable.” Uncertainty aversion is not the fear of change. The fear of change says, “I like things how they are and I don’t want them to change.” Uncertainty aversion says, “I don’t know how things will change, so I’d rather them not change.” This may be the reason some folks stay at bad jobs or in bad relationships longer than they should. It is likely why it takes a long time for churches to change even small parts of their ministry. And I would hazard a guess that uncertainty aversion is also why it is hard to pass laws that would result in widespread change in our country. Everyone I know complains about the health insurance systems in the US, but switching to another model scares people because the results of that change and uncertain. We know that our judicial system unfairly targets and punishes people of color and other minorities, but many are scared of any alternative because we don’t know if it would still give us the feeling of protection. If you are feeling the weight of uncertainty aversion, you aren’t alone. As someone who admittedly loves things that are unique and novel, I am also tired and feeling myself retreat into the familiar and the known. If you are feeling this too, what do we do with this emotion? We let ourselves feel it and work through the emotion so we can move beyond it. Do this exercise with me: One hand on your chest, one on your belly, and close your eyes. Deep breath in 2, 3, 4, hold 2, 3, 4, exhale, 2, 3, 4 and hold 2, 3, 4. (this is called box breathing) Ask yourself, “Where in my body do I feel anxious or stressed? Where does that emotion live?” and allow yourself to feel the discomfort of that feeling for a minute or two. Ask yourself, “What uncertainty am I worried or anxious about? Why does this uncertainty make me feel worries or anxious? What am I afraid will happen?” and allow yourself to ponder for another minute or two. Another deep breath in (through your nose) 2, 3, 4, hold 2, 3, 4, audibly exhale (through your mouth), 2, 3, 4 and hold 2, 3, 4. Do this again. This practice will not necessarily make your uncertainty aversion go away, but it will help you notice when it arises. And when we can notice and name emotions when they appear, we can better deal with them rather than be controlled by them. Blessings, Pastor Chris “It’s not FAIR!” is the chorus from children around the world at a certain age… and sometimes... I still say that to myself today. I am old enough now to know that the world does not run on fairness, however much we wish it would. Some people are born with a leg-up in the world because their families had bountiful resources and connections. Other people get a lucky break at some point and luck is not fair either. And still other times the system is as fair as it can be… and yet… it still doesn’t FEEL fair.
More often than not these days, when my brain is screaming at me, “THIS ISN’T FAIR!” it is because someone twice my age is throwing a tantrum or hissy fit. In these moments, the angel on my shoulder reminders me that, “You are never not a 5-year-old. Every person has the capability to throw a temper tantrum… especially on their bad days.” But in the next breath, the devil on my other shoulder responds, “But it is not fair! Why do I have to be the emotionally mature person to calm down the person throwing a hissy fit? This person is twice my age! Haven’t they learned how to regulate their emotions yet? For once, I would like to be the one who is allowed to throw the temper tantrum!” To that, the angel chimes in again: “I know it would probably feel good in the moment to throw a fit, and yell, and scream, and carry on… and I know it isn’t fair that you have to be the adult in the room… but this situation will get a whole lot worse and have a dramatically worse outcome if you indulge that impulse. For now, you need to de-escalate the situation and save your personal hissy fit for when you are at home by yourself.” The idea that I bring to you all today is de-escalation: “De-escalation refers to the methods and actions taken to decrease the severity of a conflict, whether of physical, verbal or another nature," Wikipedia. De-escalation is a conflict resolution tool used to calm a room or situation so that clearing minds can prevail. It can, at first, look like weakness and vulnerability because de-escalation often requires someone to back down to some degree. It requires humility and admitting that you may have made an error or misunderstood the other party. The hope is that by one person backing off the situation, the other person will feel safe to do the same. This often takes training to get good at this skill. Trained mediators are often used to de-escalate contentious situations so that both parties feel safe to walk back the tension. But when we are out and about in the world, who is responsible for de-escalation? As we are about in the world, skilled moderators are not usually nearby when something happens and de-escalation is needed. If a customer is yelling at an employee, the employee is often expected to de-escalate the situation. If that isn’t working, a store manager is often called in as a mediator. Other times still, a kind fellow customer might step in to try and de-escalate the situation. Government officers are also supposed to de-escalate tense situations. I think this why people’s perception of the police can differ: some people feel that the police de-escalate the situation while others feel that the presence of police is itself an escalation of the situation. As I pay attention to current events, one of my fears is whose responsibility is it to de-escalate tense, sometimes violent situations that keep cropping up? Generally speaking, I don’t feel it is the general public’s responsibility to de-escalate because most people have not been given training on how to do so. Therefore, the general public can be expected to make impulsive decisions based on fear, anger, or other overwhelming emotions. Without training, people are prone to panic and make irrational decisions based on primal fight or flight responses. While they are still responsible for their actions, de-escalation should not primarily be their responsibility. The person that I do believe has the responsibility to de-escalate any given situation is government employee that has been given a weapon with the capacity to injure or kill. Because the presence of a weapon inherently escalates the feeling of tension, fear, and potential violence, the one bearing the weapon has the inherent responsibility to lower the fear and tension in a situation. It is not fun having to be the adult in the room that is responsible for managing another person's emotional state. But when someone has the power to take life, it is essential that that person is able to regulate their own emotions in the moment and then help the other person regulate theirs. Because those with institutional power and government sanctioned weapons are escalating situations across the United States in various towns and cities rather than de-escalating them, it is unsurprising to me that the public and protestors are responding by escalating the situation further in order to protect what they care about. Jesus tells us that “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Matthew 5:9. That means that our faith calls us to make for peace and de-escalate situations when it is in our power to do so. It isn’t as fun as throwing a fit, but it is our calling. Yet we must also understand why others are not choosing this route in the face of state-sanctioned violence. If the state does not also agree to de-escalate and instead used more violence against the people, we must do what we can to protect all of God’s beloved children. Blessings, Pastor Chris |
AuthorPastor Chris Hallam earned her degree at Princeton Theological Seminary and moved to Michigan to become a pastor. Also trained as a studio artist and graphic designer, with an interest in pop culture and social science, her passion is thinking creatively about the future of the church. Archives
August 2026
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